My Official NFL Tryout

One Big (Cool) Thing

Just picture yourself standing in the tunnel of an NFL stadium, huddled around your teammates, your brethren.

You’re in full pads, ready to go to war.

Crazy Train exploding through the stadium speakers.

Fans cheering your name even louder than Ozzy Osbourne himself as you sprint out of the tunnel.

Chills take over your body.

The games begin.

First, we rewind…

I’d bet 90% of the people reading this wanted to be a pro athlete when the 3rd grade teacher asked them to write down what they wanted to be when they grow up.

Yeah, I obviously wrote “Play for the Patriots” on my card in illegible writing.

And well folks, that dream came true on Sunday afternoon.

I caught passes from an NFL QB at Gillette Stadium in front of a crowd.

Remember, or for any newcomers, we ran a test a month ago on a snowy, icy field with 40 mph wind gusts, and I blew out both my hamstrings.

Here’s the full video from that day back in January:

Sunday was my shot at redemption.

We did a live show for The Quick Snap podcast in front of a few thousand Patriots season ticket holders.

We did three hours of interviews with current players, former players, coaches and the current GM:

The interviews were a blast, honored to share the stage with those guys. We’re releasing all the interviews on our YouTube channel in the coming weeks. Subscribe to the channel!

Now for the juicy stuff…

We wrapped up the podcast and went down some secret tunnels of Gillette Stadium towards the field.

My co-hosts Brian Hoyer and David Andrews, former Patriots players, are ruthlessly chirping me on the way down. I’d like to think it’s brotherly love, but after Sunday I am honestly not sure.

Regardless, the challenge was that I will run 10 routes, every single route in the WR route tree and I have to catch six of the balls from NFL QB Brian Hoyer. His words, “I am going to try and break your fingers”.

The hardest part is honestly the conditioning. The hands are there, but the hammys are not there. As heard in this clip from the January episode:

I put in the work over the last several weeks and the hammys held up on Sunday!

Ok, so we’re in the tunnel and I jokingly asked Jen, the very kind woman from the Pats team that was helping us out all day, if we could have some walk out music…

She used her headset to buzz up to the control room and all of the sudden I hear Ozzy Osbourne come through the loudspeakers across the entire stadium. My intro note was real life, I was fired the f*** up.

It was go time in front of a sold-out crowd (JK just a couple hundred people stayed for this part).

My first slant pass felt GOOD:

Kinda looks like Julian Edelman, no?

Then Hoyer gave all he got on the fly route, and I ran under it like Jerry Rice:

Hoyer didn’t want to say it to the crowd but texted me after saying this one impressed him. Thank you, Hoy. It’s ok that you will never give me credit in public.

The funniest part of the whole thing was the fact that I was wearing a Hoyer jersey, and these little kids thought I was actually Brian. They wanted my autograph, so I gave it to them:

I’d like to think it was my great play. Lucky them, that ball is now 10x more valuable.

We interviewed Patriots GM Eliot Wolf, and he legitimately told me that he was gonna be watching.

I seriously think practice squad is in my future.

Nah, but one can dream! And I know last week I wrote about catching passes from Hoyer was a dream, but this truly was b/c doing it in Gillette in front of fans is a different level.

Just lucky to be here and having a lot of fun.

Quick Snap to the Moon. Shoutout my Patriots teammates. Great strapping it up with you fellas.

Oh, did I catch more than 6 passes? F***ing rights I did. Full video from the field will drop.

Yes, obviously I’ll link it here when it comes out.

Chase those third-grade dreams people, ya never fricken’ know…

Favorite Thing I Saw on the Internet This Week

YouTube golf getting the spotlight back in this section. This week it’s because Good Good Golf raised $45M.

WILD.

They are a group of 25-year-old dudes that do golf challenges and sell merch.

Honestly, they draw more of a younger demo, I never watch their videos but good for GOOD GOOD.

Although, money raised doesn’t mean anything if you don’t go spend it wisely and execute on a plan. Good Good Luck!

See what I did there? 😏

Another cool thing from the internet….

The DONUT, a newsletter giving fast, impartial news that’s actually enjoyable to read

The DONUT: We love you, too, Ron Burgundy. And we also love sifting through the jumbled, biased, and negative mess that is today’s news landscape.

“Why?” or “To what end?” you may ask. Which, tbh, are both great questions we’re still working through in therapy. But you probably don’t care about that.

ANYways… At The DONUT, we aim to turn the time-consuming, anxiety-ridden chore of staying informed into a jargon-free guilty pleasure that ensures you’ll be the most interesting person in the room.

Through a series of newsletters, we deliver impartial, quick, engaging, and easy-to-understand news – all 100% free.

So if you’re sick of being outraged, reading slanted journalism, or just spending time weeding through a bunch of sources to figure out the truth, take 10 seconds to give us a try.

The Polls

💰Betting Corner

I went 28/32 on first round winners in my backet and sat atop all of my groups’ standing. Then I kicked off the Round of 32 on Saturday with one of the greatest betting days of my entire life.

I was simply seeing the board and just couldn’t miss. Here are the receipts (no unit shaming here, I am a proud small unit bettor and highly encourage it!)

Lock of the week: BYU +5.5 over BAMA

Follow me on X (Twitter) for more picks throughout March Madness. I got a DM from a dude named “ELITE LOCKS”

I thought the above story of me in Gillette was my peak, but nah, this DM from Elite Locks tops that.

Mama I made it!

See you next week.